Desasosiego

desasosiego  (Spanish)

nm (intranquilidad, pesadumbre) unease n   feeling of unease, sense of unease n  misgivings npl

My general pulse these days is one of inquietude.

That balled up feeling of energy in your chest, often resulting in the expulsion of tiny lightning bolts that crawl along the surface of your skin.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it here. But staying put has never been my strong suit. I’ve immersed myself in this culture for five years now, a love peppered with annoyance, sometimes even bordering on hate.

Before I came here, I often flew to far-off corners of the world, loving the feeling of being out of place. But, this is home now, for a little while.

But that sense of adventure always lingers.

I have tried drowning it in work (which I like a lot, but it’s still work), with repetitive social gatherings, with empty conversations that I couldn’t have otherwise tolerated with an empty wine glass.

So, I sit, hanging in limbo. Drifting between vivid memories and hazy future plans.

… and somewhere in between, I’ll tell you my story.

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